Kansas Attachment Center

Helping Families Build Stronger Connections

What You Can Expect

?Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today.  Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime?.

My goal is not to fix the client?s problems or create connectedness.  It is to assist the client/s in gaining the knowledge and skills they need and feeling confident and comfortable in using their knowledge and skills to resolve problems and maintain connectedness. 

Committed clients who work with me can expect to see desirable and sustainable changes in 5 key areas.

1. Communication

A common complaint I hear from families is dissatisfaction with communication.  One person does not open up and share his/her thoughts, feelings or ideas, talking turns into shouting, what is said is misunderstood or not acted upon and ?I feel like I am talking to a brick wall? or ?S/he will not talk to me? are frequent concerns.

First, I work with clients on how to structure the process so that it encourages the sharing of ideas, feelings and thoughts.  Choosing the right time and place, setting boundaries, being clear on the problem and goal, ensuring an exchange of information are valuable in creating an atmosphere productive for communication. Next we address the art of listening and speaking so each person is “heard”.  Often people speak and ?hear? through a whirlpool of their own emotions, values, wants and experiences and the message being sent or what is heard is distorted.  Calming the waters improves the person?s ability to verbalize and receive messages accurately.

2.  Problem Solving Skills

A frequent need that clients express is how to resolve problems quickly and effectively and with the cooperation of others.  Many times, parents come up with ?solutions? on their own and then lots of time and energy is spent trying to make it work.  Or a discussion takes place, an agreement reached and then someone does not follow through.  And often the same problem area keeps reoccurring because the underlying issue was not addressed. 

I aid clients in developing skills that help them get to the root of the problem, stay focused on solving the problem and away from blaming, decrease emotional reactions and increase fact finding and set up responsibility and accountability. 

3.  Emotional Wellness

Clients seek help for a variety of reasons.  They are struggling with emotions and behaviors that impair their sense of well-being, relationships, performance or health.  They are wanting more information and better tools to help themselves or someone they care about who is struggling with emotional and/or behavioral problems.  Or someone else has required them to get help in resolving an emotional problem and they are trying to avoid the consequences if they do not do so.  Whatever the situation, they are under various degrees of stress and quality of life is not what they want it to be.

I assist clients with increasing emotional wellness through developing positive self-talk and behavior patterns and resolving disruptive emotions.  Identifying personal barriers and learning to balance what you can and cannot change about yourself.  Recognizing, increasing and using personal strengths to accomplish tasks and goals.  And developing skills to manage stress, anger, pain and fear and engage in self-care.

4. Effective Parenting

Many parents report that their parenting strategies are not working.  They furnish consequences and rewards, provide positive feedback, talk to their child, set up contracts and behavior plans and finally resort to yelling, guilt trips and spanking however nothing seems to make a difference. 

The process of creating an effective parenting plan begins with discussing the parent?s beliefs, values, goals and needs for themselves and their child.  A second area of focus is determining the needs of the child.  We explore possible contributors to behaviors and moods such as mental health problems, learning disabilities, sensory problems or developmental delays and look at developmental stages, environments, personality and motivators.  We also look at the reasons for the behaviors as while some behaviors come from willfulness and testing limits, others may be a symptom of a deeper issue.  The third area we undertake is developing a parenting plan that addresses the unique needs of the child and parent. 

5. Competence 

In the beginning, it is common for clients whom I see to express doubts that things can get better.  They are concerned about their ability to do what is needed.  They have tried, to the best of their knowledge and abilities, to improve a situation or fix a problem without accomplishing the result they were hoping for.

I work with clients to gain knowledge and understanding, improve skills and increase abilities first through talk and then doing it.  Clients gain trust in themselves and their abilities as they become more comfortable with these tools and achieve success over and over. When problems arise, they have the confidence, knowledge and skills to manage or resolve it.

Are you the kind of client I work with and do I provide what you are wanting and expecting from the services you are seeking.  Then now is the time to Contact Me.